


Star-Crossed Lovers

by MsSpockTOS



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: A Bunch of Side Relationships, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Spock, First Love, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, High School, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-06-07 07:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 21,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6795655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsSpockTOS/pseuds/MsSpockTOS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is kind of longer than the other chapters, but I really think you guys will like it more than the others.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. A Chance Meeting

As soon as Spock walked into school that day, she knew that it would be a bad day. It was the first day of the semester, and that meant having to find a new seat in the cafeteria amongst the endless sea of bodies. And Spock always hated that. She didn't have many friends in high school, and so she always assumed that she would never find someone to sit with who could make the day a bit more bearable. Spock entered the cafeteria and perused her seating options. All of her choices consisted of sitting with very faint acquaintances of hers, so she just picked the most logical seat, and made small talk with people that she knew that she would never talk to again outside of these thirty minutes that made up their lunch period.

Spock did not expect the second day of the new semester to go any better than the first. The classes bored her, and went at an exceptionally slow pace for her Vulcan mind. As lunch approached, Spock assumed that it would go no differently than it had on the previous day. She got to the lunch room early, sat in the same seat, and waited for the others to join her. From this new vantage point, she spotted people that she had not seen the day before. Sitting across the aisle from her were a group of friends that she had not talked to in over six months. However, she felt compelled to ditch her "acquaintances" and go sit with people whom she anticipated would allow the lunch period to pass faster. They quickly made room for her, and actually welcomed her with open arms, which was an uncommon reaction for people to have towards Spock. As the rest of the table began to fill in, Spock looked around at the rest of the table.

Nearly every seat at the twelve person table was filled, with people of every shape, size, and walk of life. Compared to the rest of the room, it was the most diverse table in the entirety of the cafeteria. Each of the other tables were composed of people who looked or acted alike, and all of those who did not fit in with any of these other tables were sitting around Spock as she unpacked her lunch. After several minutes, Spock noticed that, oddly enough, the only empty seat at the table was the one directly on her left. Cautiously, she ran her hand up to her hair, to make sure that her hair was still covering her pointed ears. Spock was not ashamed of her ears, but she knew that humans did not fully understand the fact that Spock was normal, despite the shape of her ears. The teasing did not bother her, since she knew that humans feared what they could not understand, but the teasing got in the way of her learning. Not to mention that this was her third school in five years, so she wanted to fit in in some way in this school.

After determining that her hair was securely in place, Spock began to eat her lunch. She began to think less and less that the people were trying to avoid her. As she began to eat her sandwich, she noticed that most of these people were already friends, hence the illogical seating pattern of skipping a seat. As conversations continued, Spock was included in more and more of them, and she began to feel less out of place. As the conversation shifted to something that Spock was not interested in, Spock began to look around the cafeteria. As soon as her back was turned to the empty space next to her, she heard the clink of the plastic tray on the table. She turned around to greet her new neighbor, and that was the first time that she looked into his deep blue eyes.


	2. First Contact

His eyes – well, there is no way to describe his eyes that would do them justice at all. They were bluer than the ocean in the middle of Caribbean, and they danced and shined in the light like nothing Spock had ever seen before. His blonde hair was slightly gelled in the front, but it still looked as soft as the fur of a freshly brushed Tribble. As the seconds passed, Spock finally realized that she had been staring into the stranger’s eyes. She immediately lowered her gaze to the food in front of her, as he took his place next to her at the table. “Hello. My name is Spock.” she said, from behind the curtain of her hair that had lowered between them.  


“Hi Spock. My name is James Kirk, but you can call me Jim.” the stranger replied. He did not seem bothered at all by the fact that she had been staring at him for what seemed like, to her, centuries.

“It is nice to meet you, Jim.” Spock replied, quickly diverting her attention back to her lunch. Jim turned his attention to his friends that were sitting at the table around him, and began to catch up with his friends. Their conversation bounced around, covering topics from joining Starfleet Academy to creating more efficient photosynthesis processes. All throughout the conversations, Spock could not help but admire the intelligence of the human sitting next to her. She had met very few people her age that were so well versed in science, but none of them shared her thirst for knowledge – none until she had met Jim Kirk, that is. She spent most of the time analyzing Jim, trying to study his mannerisms and his speech patterns. Once every seven minutes or so, Jim would glance over at Spock, and attempt to study her. He could see the gears turning in her head, and watched as her eyes flitted across the table, making connections and attempting to catch up in the conversation.

Towards the end of the lunch period, the conversation turned to time travel. Spock watched as Jim got into a heated debate with another one of his friends about how time travel could be accomplished and its rules. In the middle of the argument, Kirk turned to Spock and said “I’ve been watching you analyze everyone here, so you are obviously a smart girl. What do you think about time travel?”

Spock froze, only momentarily however, in order to gather her thoughts and piece together her argument in a logical order. After organizing her thoughts, Spock finally gave her response.  


“I do believe that time travel is possible. Time travel can be achieved by using the gravitational pull of a Sun to slingshot around it at a high enough speed. This would create a wormhole so powerful that time itself could not escape. Since time could not move, you could essentially move anywhere in time, since time is the fourth dimension. As to the rules of time travel, they are almost impossible to predict, since time travel has not yet been achieved. However, most of the “rules” that are used in modern forms of entertainment would be correct. It would be illogical to change any major event of the past, since the repercussions of changing said event could not be predicted. Eliminating an ancestor of your own could be detrimental to your own existence, however that depends on how time travel, and the time line itself, actually works. I assume this accurately answers your inquiry, Jim.”  
  
Not a minute after she responded to Jim, the bell rang, signaling that the students were to go to their next class. Without hesitation, Spock began packing up the rest of her lunch, and putting away the rest of her belongings. She was about to stand up when she felt an arm on her shoulder.  


“That was really amazing, Spock. I’ve never met someone as intelligent as you. I finally might have a decent complement to myself, after all.” Kirk flashed Spock a coy smile as he left the table and headed to class, leaving Spock behind to ponder what he had said and contain her smile as she left the cafeteria.


	3. A Wall Begins to Form

Days turned into weeks, as Kirk and Spock cultivated their relationship. Neither of them had ever felt so close to another person, in such a short amount of time. Spock often went home thinking about what Kirk had said to her that day, and about what she could say to him the next day. After a few weeks, however, Spock realized her growing fondness for Kirk and her constant need to be with him or talking to him. This worried Spock, because she was afraid that it would cloud her judgement and her logic. It was hard for her to ignore the fact that they were constantly flirting with each other. It was highly illogical to care this much about someone in such a short amount of time, and Spock decided that the best course of action for her would be to pull back from Kirk.

The next day at lunch, Spock was noticeably distant from Kirk, angling herself away from him or being particularly brief with her answers to his questions. About halfway through the period, she excused herself to go out to the common area so that she could read her book. Well, that was what she told the people at the table anyway. The truth is, she just didn’t want to have to sit next to Kirk and have to endure the fact that she had to distance herself from him while watching and listening to him charm the table, her in particular. As she sat down to read her book, her mind began to wander off, and she thought about Kirk coming out to check on her and see what was wrong – however, this is did not happen. She sat in a corner seat, reading her book and glancing up at the cafeteria door every so often, secretly hoping to see Kirk walking towards her. Time passed, and eventually the bell rang. Spock gathered her belongings and slipped up the stairs to her next class. 

Spock continued to do this for the next week or so. She would sit with her table of friends until she finished her lunch, then she would leave to go read out in the common area. Every time that she left, Kirk would watch her out of the corner of his eye as she threw her trash away and walked out of the cafeteria, then he would turn his attention back to his friends. Every day as lunch ended, he would try to look for her, so that he could at least walk her back to class, but she was nowhere to be found. Throughout the week, Kirk tried to figure out why he was so upset at the fact that Spock left lunch early now. He didn’t have feelings for her, and he knew that, but it still felt like something was wrong. It didn’t feel right without her there to counter his arguments or, at the very least, keep him in check. He decided that he would try to figure out why she always left as early as she did, and to maybe stop her from always leaving him. 

The next day, Kirk got to the cafeteria early and began eating before the others got there. Spock was surprised to see Kirk already there, but she just assumed that he got out of class early. The first half of the lunch period went on as normal. Spock finished with her lunch, and stood up to leave the table. Much to her surprise, Kirk followed suit. She threw her trash away and went to go find her spot in the common area, with Kirk in pursuit. She sat down, pulled out her book, and began to read it as Kirk approached her area. 

“Mind if I join you?” Kirk asked politely. “I already finished my lunch and I was curious as to what you do out here every day.” Spock hesitated, only for a moment, before sliding over to the side in order to make room for Kirk on the bench. After a few moments of silence, Kirk finally asked his question. “So, why do you come out here every day, instead of staying the cafeteria with us?” 

Spock suddenly stopped reading, but continued to stare the same spot on the page for a moment or two. “It was…the logical thing to do.” Spock responded, giving Kirk only a half answer. She did not particularly want to have this conversation in the middle of the common area right now. 

“What do you mean it was the logical thing to do? Was there a problem?” Kirk inquired. He was becoming honestly concerned at this point. He thought she only left early because she wanted time to read or was hanging out with her other friends, but the reason for her absence was clearly far deeper than he originally anticipated. 

“Look Kirk, this is all about me, and has nothing to do with you. I have found myself getting rather attached to you in these past few weeks, and that was highly illogical of me to do. I barely know you, and yet, I feel the overwhelming urge to always want to talk to you. You are the smartest and funniest person that I have ever met, but this – this has to stop. Therefore, I decided to pull back from you. I’m sure that this does not affect you, and that it does not really matter to you. After all, we only met a month ago, so I am sure that this will not bother you. So, I will maintain my distance from you as much as possible.” As if she timed it, the bell rang and she disappeared up the stairs before Kirk could get another word in otherwise. 

“But, what if I don’t want you to pull away from me? What if I want you to stay close to me?” Kirk whispered to himself as he shuffled his way to his next class.


	4. When You can no Longer Stand it

For the rest of the day, Kirk was plagued by the thought of Spock dancing in and out of his mind, usually staying longer than she is gone. He thought of the way her eyes shined when she talked about something that she was enthused about. He thought about how she played with her hair whenever she got nervous or anxious. But most of all, he thought about her smile, and how it made him feel every time he saw that smile. He loved her smile. It had the ability to brighten the whole room. It made him upset to think about how she was pulling away. She was his friend, and getting to be a close one at that. He made a vow to not let her go through with her plan.

The next day, Kirk made an effort to find Spock in the morning before lunch. Most of the school congregated in the common area, so Kirk began looking for her as soon as he got to school. He found her, sitting by herself, reading her book and listening to her music. “Hey, can I sit with you? I wanted to talk to you about something.” Spock closed her book, and looked right up at Kirk into his eyes. 

“You’re not making this any easier for me, but if you need to talk about something, feel free to join me.” Kirk sat down next to her on the floor. He looked down nervously at his hands before beginning his plea. 

“This isn’t easy for me, either. I know you think that you are getting too close too fast – but relationships grow at different rates. The way I see it, we only move so fast because we get along so well. We are compatible with each other, pretty much perfectly. That doesn’t mean that we are moving too fast.” 

Spock never averted her gaze from him as he explained his side of this. He seemed to genuinely care about her and their relationship. “So you do not think that this is a bad thing?” Spock inquired. 

“Actually, I think precisely the opposite. I think that our relationship could end up being a really good thing, for the both of us.” 

“I suppose. Can we at least take thing a little slower? For my sake – I never really had many friends, so this seems extremely fast for me.” 

“If holding back means that I get to keep you around, I’m glad to do it.” 

Spock smiled at Kirk, simply because she did not have anything to say. She was astonished that he took the time to make his point clear to her. “So, what made you do all of this?” 

“Why do you ask?” Kirk said, flashing her that coy smirk of his as he replied. 

“Well, the fact that you came to find me in the morning instead of waiting for lunch shows some level of urgency in this matter. Your explanation was also very thorough, which indicates that you put some thought behind what you were going to say and how you were going to say it. So, I ask you the question again. What made you do all of this?” 

Kirk’s eyes sparkled, listening to her beautifully logical mind work, but watching it struggle to understand the emotion behind his words. Kirk kept staring at Spock as she raised her right eyebrow, as she awaited his response. “I did all this – because I believe in us, in what we could be. 

Spock looked away for only a moment, attempting to organize her thoughts. She then adjusted her gaze to Kirk, searching for some sign that he was not serious, or that he was lying to her. What she saw staring back at her almost made her heart skip a beat. His blonde hair was not gelled back today, so it laid against his forehead, providing the perfect complement to his bright, blue eyes, which shined every time that he looked at her. His smile showed off his perfectly white teeth, and lit up his face so wonderfully. Truthfully, she could not believe what she had just heard. How could he believe so much in a relationship that had just started to form? How could he be so head strong about this? But sitting here, looking at him, she could see from the look on his face that he was not more sure about anything in the whole universe.


	5. Tear Down the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of longer than the other chapters, but I really think you guys will like it more than the others.

During lunch that same day, Kirk and Spock reverted back to their original relationship. They carried on side conversations while the rest of the table talked about mindless dribble-drabble. As the lunch period drew to a close, Kirk asked Spock for her phone number.  


“I want to get to know you better. I want to develop our emotional relationship, and find out what we have in common.” Spock loved the idea, so they exchanged contact information. After school, once Spock had gotten home, she glanced at her phone. Should she be the one to text him first? She did not want to seem too desperate, but she also wanted to talk to Kirk. As if, he had somehow read her mind, Spock’s phone went off, signaling that she had received a text. For the rest of the day, and the days to follow, Spock and Kirk texted each other relentlessly. With every conversation that they had, each learned new things about the other. They learned that they had the same tastes in movies, video games, and music. They learned that they were both born in the same city, although Spock ended up living there longer.  


Spock learned that Kirk’s mother had been diagnosed with cancer when he was a child, and that he went to a camp for children whose parents have been diagnosed with cancer. She learned that this camp was the only place where all of his walls began to crumble, and rather quickly at that. Spock deducted from this that Kirk typically had walls up, and this meant that his “always happy” personality was all a ruse. Spock wanted to get to know the real Kirk: the man behind the mask that he always wore. Since Kirk had begun to open up to her, she decided that she should begin opening up to him.  


Kirk was astounded at the things that he learned about Spock. Her best friend had died when she was in middle school, and she had yet to recover from that. When it originally happened, Spock had completely shut down and alienated everyone, not that there were a whole lot of friends for her to alienate. Kirk inferred that this is where she began to shut out her emotions. It sure would make the healing process a lot easier for her. Kirk noticed that Spock never talked much about her upbringing or her family. He assumed that there was some reason that she did not want to talk about it, so he decided not to press her about it.  


As they talked, both of them realized that the other was not as fully put together as they projected. Each was just as broken as the other deep down, and they both recognized this and decided that they would try to help the other heal. As they days got longer, so did their conversations. Each would look for an excuse to talk to the other. During lunch, they acted completely normal. They both made time for the other people and their conversations, and never once acted in favor of each other. In fact, they ended up talking to each other less during lunch, just because of how much they talked outside of lunch.  


As time went by, Spock began to get more and more comfortable around Kirk. She wanted to show him her greatest secret: her ears. No one else in the school had ever seen her ears, for she always kept them hidden under her hair. But Kirk – he was different. He was not like the rest of the kids that Spock went to school with and she felt like she could trust him with her secret. The next morning, Spock set off to find Kirk. She found him rather easily since he was so tall and his blonde hair stood out easily in the crowd.  


“I have something that I need to discuss with you.” Spock said, not even bothering to give Kirk a proper hello.  


“Alright. Let’s go find an empty classroom and talk about whatever you want.” Kirk replied, without a second of hesitation. He grabbed his backpack, eager to follow her wherever she led him. They walked around until they found an empty room, which was not particularly hard to find, since none of the teachers got to school this early in the morning. They walked inside the classroom, and closed the door a bit, just enough for privacy but still leaving it open to the point to where people could see inside the room.  


“Thank you for leaving your friends for me. I know that I said that I wanted to talk to you about something, but it is more along the lines of I wanted to show you something.” Kirk nodded, signifying that he was eager to see whatever that she had to show him.  


Spock raised her hands to her hair, and stopped suddenly. She got really nervous all of a sudden, and her hands fell back down to her sides. She had never shown anyone else her ears before, and she thought that Kirk would think differently of her. She had gotten so anxious that she had not noticed that Kirk had stood up and walked over to her. She looked up at him, and he looked right back into her eyes. Kirk took his hand and ran it up to her hair, just in front of her ears, brushing his fingers along her cheek as his hand passed it. Without breaking eye contact, Kirk brushed Spock’s hair out the way and pinned it behind her ear, exposing its pointed tip.  


Spock stood there, in breathless amazement, as Kirk brushed her hair back and saw her ear for the first time. She watched his eyes flit to the tip of her ear, staying there only momentarily before returning back to her eyes. "You probably think I'm different or weird now, after you saw my ears.” Spock said, quickly returning her hair to its original place over her ears, hiding them from the world.  


“Not any more than normal. I actually love your ears, and I hate the fact that you feel the need to hide them from everyone.”  
“Not many people have your reaction to my ears. I have not shown a bunch of people, but most of the people that I have shown were scared by my ears. Hence why I feel the overwhelming need to hide them.”  


“Can you please not hide them from me? I am sure that this is not an easy task for you, but I love them, and I want you to share them with the rest of the world.” Kirk said, as he brushed Spock’s hair behind her ears again, his hand hesitating on her cheek before returning back to his side.  


Spock looked at Kirk, nervously. She had never shown her ears in school before, and she was scared about what people would think of her. But, the way that Kirk looked at her right now, she suddenly did not care what people thought about her ears. His smile lit up his whole face, and his blue eyes seemed even brighter as he looked at her. Spock began her feel her cheeks turn a slightly green shade, as her blood rushed to her cheeks and caused her to start blushing. “I will not to hide them around you. It is a hard habit to break, but I will try my best.”  


Kirk could not help but smile at Spock. She was beginning to let him in, and he of all people appreciated another person letting their walls down around him. Without a second thought, Kirk wrapped both arms around Spock’s waist, hugging her and lifting her into the air. As if it was her normal reaction, Spock wrapped her arms around Kirk’s neck, buried her face into his shoulder and lifted her feet off of the ground. After a moment or two of their hug, Kirk returned Spock to the ground, and let her go. They both stood in the empty room, trying to wrap their heads around what just happened.  


“Well, thank you for understanding, and I am glad that you like my ears – and I liked the hug.” Spock said, finally breaking the silence.  


“You’re welcome, and I know you did, Spock.” Kirk replied. Spock looked up at Kirk just in time for her to see him flash her his signature coy smile and give her a quick wink, before he walked out of the classroom and left Spock alone with her thoughts.


	6. The Fight

Heads slowly began to turn as Spock entered the cafeteria later that day. Her hair was pulled into a neat, tight ponytail, showing off her ears to the entire school. There was no hiding her ears now, but honestly, she liked the fact that she was not hiding anymore. She sat down at her normal table, and awaited a response from the rest of the people at the table. Everyone either made no comment about her ears or just treated her normally, or they complemented her on them. Her attention turned to Kirk, who did not say anything to her, but only smiled at her.

Every day after that, she either wore her hair up in a ponytail or a bun, or she wore it down, but never hid her ears again. As people got used to them, Spock began to notice that they stopped staring at them and began to treat her like she was normal. Days passed much quicker than Spock ever expected, and as the end of the year approached, she realized that she might not ever get to spend time with Kirk in lunch or class or anything else. This made her sad, but it also made her appreciate all of the time that she had remaining with Kirk. 

At the end of April, one of Kirk and Spock’s favorite days occurred. It was the middle of the lunch, and everything was going on as normal. Conversations were flowing, and everyone was enjoying themselves. Out of nowhere, an argument began to erupt at a nearby table. Conversations throughout the cafeteria suddenly stopped, and people began to stand up so that they could see and hear the fight better. The administration was not intervening and the fight kept escalating. Unexpectedly, one of the people in the fight threw something off of their tray towards the other person. Instead of hitting its intended target, the piece of food hit someone else that was observing the fight. In a matter of seconds, the food fight has escalated to the point that it included the entire cafeteria. 

Spock looked around at the rest of the cafeteria in a nervous panic. That day, she had to give a presentation in one of her classes, so she was wearing a nice dress that belonged to her mother. With food flying unrelentingly, Spock looked down at her dress, and began to worry that something would hit her and ruin it. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a piece of pizza that was flying towards her. She felt her entire body tense up, not allowing her to move out the way of the flying food. Her eyes got bigger as the food came closer to her, and she closed her eyes as her only defense. 

She waited to feel the pizza hit her for a few seconds, but it never came. She slowly opened her eyes, only to see Kirk standing in front of her. He turned around to face her, with the piece of pizza stuck to the front of his shirt. He looked down at the pizza, removed it from his shirt, and took a bite out of it. “Hmmm, still tastes good – well, good for cafeteria food.” Spock could not help but laugh at Kirk. 

“Oh, my hero” Spock managed out between fits of laughing. Kirk’s face turned slightly red as he began to blush. Kirk kept eating the piece of pizza as he took his spot next to Spock at the table. The food fight had pretty much died down at this point, and the floor of the cafeteria was absolutely covered in food. The administration had formed a wall in front of the door, and they were not letting anyone enter or leave the cafeteria. Even as the bell rang, people were still not allowed to leave. 

The principal then made an announcement to the entire room. “None of you are allowed to leave until we figure out who was behind the food fight. We have footage from inside of the cafeteria, and will be calling the initiators of the fight into the office. The rest of you will remain here until this matter is sorted out.” 

The cafeteria remained silent until the principal left. As he walked out, murmurs began to rise from all corners of the cafeteria. Most of Kirk and Spock’s table ran out when the food fight had started, so they pretty much had the table to themselves. “I cannot believe that actually happened” Spock giggled. “It all happened so fast.” Spock slowly came to the realization that she will probably miss part of her next class. “What if we are late to class? What if we do not get to cover something that is really important??” 

“Spock, you need to relax, and enjoy the moment.” Kirk replied, leaning back in his chair ever so slightly. “At least we get more time to talk, alone apparently.” 

“I suppose. I cannot believe that the semester is almost over. What if we never see each other again?” 

“I doubt that that will happen, Spock. We both know where the other sits in the morning, and considering that some of your other new friends sit with me, it would only be logical for you to join me.” 

Spock raised her right eyebrow at Kirk. She could not deny his logic, but she found it entertaining how he was using logic in order to make his point to her, but also using it in a slightly teasing manner. This only made her adore him that much more. 

“That is probably what will end up happening. I do not want to lose the relationship that we have worked so hard to create.” 

“And to think just a few months ago you didn’t want anything to do with me…” 

Spock could not help but giggle, thinking back on when she had wanted to distance herself from that. She could not believe that she had ever wanted that. She slightly nudged Kirk with her shoulder. “Are you ever going to let that go, Jim?” 

“Of course not. That would be absolutely no fun for me” Kirk gave Spock a small half-smile. Spock smiled back at Kirk, before readjusting her hair so that it was out of her face. After her hair was securely placed back into its ponytail, Spock slowly began to realize how tired she was. She had lost her tired feeling in the midst of all of the excitement, but it hit her like a tidal wave now that the excitement had died down. Without thinking, she leaned over and placed her head on Kirk’s shoulder. 

Kirk’s heart skipped a beat when he felt the weight of Spock’s head on his shoulder. He had not been looking at her when he felt the thud of her head hitting his shoulder. He looked down at her, and all that he saw were her brown eyes staring up at him over his shoulder. He couldn’t remember a time when she had looked any cuter than right now. She placed her hands on his bicep, and intertwined her fingers. Kirk sat there, staring at Spock for a short moment, before placing his head on top of hers. The only thought that ran through his head was that he did not want this moment to end. 

Spock did not know what she was doing. Typically, she was not one to engage in physical contact with other people. However with Kirk, as everything else was, it was completely different. She loved the feeling of his body heat as it radiated onto her. She could her every time his heart beat, and every time he breathed. She then felt the weight of his head on top of hers. She was glad that he reciprocated her physical contact, even if it was simply for her benefit. 

Neither of them knew how long they actually stayed like this, but both of them felt that it was not enough time. When the administration had caught the people who started the food fight and let them leave the cafeteria, both Kirk and Spock were hesitant to leave. Spock especially did not want to leave, even though she was the one who did not want to be kept in the cafeteria. They were some of the last people to leave the cafeteria, and walked slowly back to class. Kirk walked Spock back to her class, gave her a quick hug, and quickly made his way back to his class before he was late. As they sat in class, they both thought about being with the other and began to daydream about what had happened in the cafeteria, replaying it over and over again for an hour and a half.


	7. The Last Day of School

The last month flew by before Kirk and Spock could blink. Spock had started sitting with Kirk in the mornings and they had been texting pretty much all day, so they were always talking to one another. Every day during lunch, they would maintain some level of physical contact, whether it was their legs touching underneath the table or Spock laying her head on Kirk’s shoulder. They were both blatantly ignoring the fact that the school year was almost over.

As much as Kirk tried to calm Spock down, her mind kept jumping to the worst possible scenario. Things in her life never worked out the way that she wanted it, so she just began to assume that they would go wrong. Every time, she looked at Kirk as if it would be her last. And Kirk knew that. Since they had been talking all of the time, Kirk had begun to figure Spock out, and he was at the point where he could tell what she was thinking by looking at her. Kirk could see the look in Spock’s eyes every time that she looked at him. It hurt him to see such pain and longing in her eyes, and he knew that nothing he could say or do could soothe her soul. Spock could not logically explain how she felt about Kirk. She had only known him for five months, but she felt like she had known him for her whole life. She could tell you what was going through his mind, just by looking at him. She always knew the right thing to say to calm him down. People always asked her if they were dating, and honestly, she wished they were. She knew that they made the perfect pair, logically. However, she had mentioned dating to Kirk, and he had made it perfectly clear that he did not like her like that. Since she did not want to sacrifice their relationship, she pushed her feelings down and hid them. 

On the last day of school, there was a palpable air of sorrow. Even though most of the students skipped school that day, the ones that were at school that day were upset about leaving their friends for the summer. In the morning, no one really talked to Kirk and Spock. They sat up against the wall, as Spock had her head on Kirk’s shoulder and her hands wrapped around his arm. 

“So, what are we going to do?” Spock inquired, finally breaking the silence. 

Kirk smiled and craned his head in order to get a better look at Spock. “Spock, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but we will be just fine. I know that you are worried about us, but I have faith in us. I know you don’t believe me, but please just trust me.” 

Spock buried her face in her arm, her cheeks starting to turn a bright green color. “I just worry. We have come so far, and…I have never opened up to someone like this before, and honestly, this scare me. I do not want to lose you.” 

Kirk sat up, and turned around so that he could get a better look at Spock. “Hey, I promise you that nothing is going to happen. You won’t lose me – ever.” His bright blue eyes pierced her brown ones, and she could not help but stare back. She could not help but smile back at him. When lunch time rolled around, Spock and Kirk noticed that they were the only ones at their normal table. They sat and talked and joked around, just like they did when they first met. After they finished eating, they headed outside to the common area. They sat down next to each other on the bench, and as Spock went to lay her head on Kirk’s shoulder, he did something that he had never done before. 

As Spock shifted her body weight towards Kirk to lay on him, he shifted himself so that her head landed on his chest. Before she could get up, he wrapped his arms around her waist. Much to his surprise, Spock did not try to fight him. She laid perfectly still on him, with Kirk’s arms wrapped around her. Kirk laid his head on top of hers, gently rubbing his fingers back and forth along her side. 

They didn’t know when this moment would end, but they felt as though it never would. They felt as though it would be one of those moments that they would never forget, one that would live on in their memories forever. But, as all moments do, this had to come to an end. The bell for the next class rang, and Kirk and Spock were forced to say what felt like their final goodbye. 

“I will see you next year.” Spock said, trying to keep her mind together. 

“Yes, you will. Don’t miss me too much until then” Kirk said, keeping his usual smirk and composure. He hugged her one last time, picking her up and spinning her in the air. He put her down on the ground, and he walked her to her last class. 

“I’ll see you later Spock.” Kirk said, disappearing from Spock’s sight. As she sat in her last class, she reminisced about the past semester: all of the laughs she had, all of times that Kirk had made her smile. She loved every second of the past five months, and she could not wait to see what the next year had in store for her. 

As Kirk left Spock to go to his last class, he thought about the future. He didn’t know what it held, but he only wished for Spock to be in it. She had been the first person that he had let into his life in years, and he wasn’t about to let that kind of bond go. He knew that she had been super worried about their relationship deteriorating, but he would not let that happen. The past five months for him had been pure magic, and he knew that it could only get better from here.


	8. The New Year

As much as they doubted that it would happen, summer went by really quick for both Kirk and Spock. Spock was now a junior, and Kirk a sophomore. The first of the new school year, as it typically is. The only thing that happened that day that Kirk and Spock vividly remembered was the first time that they saw one another that day. Spock had been sitting in the same spot that she and Kirk had sat in the morning last semester. She had her nose buried in a book when she heard a familiar voice. “I hope you haven’t been waiting on me too long.”

Spock looked up from her book, only to see Kirk looking down at her with his piercing, blue eyes. She smiled and laid her book aside, then stood to greet Kirk. He scooped her up, and hugged her as tight as he could. Spock buried her face into his neck, inhaling the smell of his skin and his cologne. They stayed like that for a while, but they eventually let go of one another. They sat on the ground for the rest of the morning, talking about their summer and figuring out if they had any classes or lunch together. They didn’t so the only time that they would get to talk to one another in person would in the mornings. 

For the next few weeks, they sat and talked in the mornings on their own. After a while, however, they began to branch out. Kirk went to talk with some of his other friends, and Spock talked to hers, but they always stayed close with each other. After a week or two, Kirk noticed that Spock had been talking to another guy. Each day, he would watch their interactions and observe from a distance. He began to get more and more jealous of this other guy. However, he never voiced his emotions to Spock. He didn’t want to appear as though he was envious, since it was his idea that they begin to branch out in the first place. 

When October rolled around, Kirk noticed that Spock was acting extremely close around this other guy. He decided that he finally wanted to voice his feelings to Spock. He left his friends and gently approached Spock, still unsure of what he would say to her. 

“Hey Spock, I, um, need to talk to you about something. You got a minute?” Spock giggled, but nodded and walked with Kirk to the other side of the common area. 

“I’m actually glad that you wanted to talk. I needed to tell you something too. But you first.” 

“No no, you first Spock. Your news first.” Kirk replied. He had begun to get slightly nervous. 

“Ok, well, you see that guy over there? His name is T’Pring and we’re dating! We just started dating about a week ago, so the relationship is brand new, but he makes me so happy!” 

In the ten seconds that it took Spock to tell him that, Kirk felt his heart fall right into his stomach. His whole world came crashing down around him, and Kirk didn’t know what to do or say. “What do I say to her now? I can’t let her know about my feelings. It could ruin her happiness” Kirk thought as he looked at the bright smile on Spock’s face. Inside, his heart was tearing into a million pieces, but on the outside, he never showed a sign or symptom. 

“That’s great! I’m so happy for you, Spock.” was all Kirk could muster out. He had finally worked up enough courage to ask this wonderful girl out on a date, only to find out that his efforts were too late. 

“Thank you, Kirk! So, what did you want to talk about?” 

Kirk had totally forgotten about the fact that he had to tell Spock something. He couldn’t possibly tell her how he felt now, not when she was this happy. “Oh, it was nothing too important. You should go enjoy your…boyfriend’s company.” 

Spock smiled, and walked off to do exactly what Kirk had told her to do. Kirk watched her walk away, admiring how her hair bounced at her shoulders. Kirk had never felt like this before. Sure, he had been rejected before, but never like this. With every other girl, he didn’t really mind when he got turned down. But this time – Kirk had to fight back tears as he walked to his first class. 

That night, Kirk tossed and turned. He thought about how he had lost Spock to another guy, but mainly, he thought about how he had let it happen. He saw that she was interested in another guy, but did nothing to stop it. He didn’t cry himself to sleep, but sure came close to it. He had never felt like this about her in the seven months that he had known her since he had first met her. Not once did he feel this fire for her, or this longing to talk to her. However, he made a vow to never tell her this. He just assumed that he did not know what he had until it was gone, and that he would get over her.


	9. The Grass is Always Greener

After about three weeks, Spock and T’Pring’s relationship almost ended as fast as it began. For Kirk, the day started pretty much normally. When he got to school, he headed to his usual group of friends. When he got to his typical hangout spot, he noticed something peculiar. There was a group of people crowded around where Spock and T’Pring usually sit, a larger crowd than normal. He set his backpack down on the floor, and went to investigate. As he approached the crowd, people began to move out the way, allowing him to pass into the middle. There, at the center of the circle, was Spock, with her knees up to her face and muffled sobs coming from her direction.

Kirk’s heart began to race, and he searched around the faces of the crowd, trying to find some signal as to what had happened. He had never seen Spock emotionally compromised at all, and now here she was, crying in the middle of the common area. All that he could gather from the surrounding people was that something had happened with T’Pring. According to one of her other friends, Spock had walked in that morning, sat down, and began crying. Kirk knelt to the ground, close enough to Spock so that only she could hear him. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Kirk gently inquired. 

Spock shook her head in response. She buried her face deeper into her arms, assuring that her face was hidden from her onlookers. However, she did scoot closer to the wall, allowing room for one other person to sit next to her on the floor. For a few moments, no one dared sit next to her. It was evident that she had wanted someone to sit next to her, but no one wanted to upset her by having the wrong person sit down in the space that she had just made. 

“Is this spot for me?” Kirk asked, wanting to make sure that he was clear about her intentions. 

“Uh huh.” Spock mumbled without bothering to look up at anyone around her. Kirk sat down and joined her on the floor. With absolutely no hesitation, Kirk wrapped his arm around Spock. Immediately, Spock leaned against Kirk, burying her face into his chest instead of her arm. Kirk took his other arm and wrapped it around the other side of her. They sat like that for a few moments, no one else bothering to intervene. 

“Do you wanna talk about it now?” Kirk finally asked, now that that the crowd had finally dissipated. 

Spock took a moment to answer. “It’s T’Pring. He told me last night that he went to get his stuff back from his ex-girlfriend last night, and she – she kissed him. Apparently, he did not even try to push her off.” As she spoke the last sentence, her voice began to quiver. She barely finished talking before her strength finally gave out, and she began to cry into Kirk’s chest. Kirk pulled her close, trying to shield her as much as he could. 

A few seconds later, Kirk looked up from Spock to see T’Pring, slowly making his way over to where Kirk and Spock were sitting. Kirk wanted to get up so bad; he wanted to get up and beat the shit out of T’Pring for making Spock cry the way that he had. And he completely would have, if he did not have Spock curled up against him. He knew that she needed him to be there with her more than she needed him to fight T’Pring, although it wouldn’t have been much of a fight at all. 

As T’Pring neared Kirk and Spock, other people began to notice his presence as well. Before he could actually reach them, a new wall of people had formed, this one determined to not let T’Pring through. “I just want to talk to her!’ he begged, trying to get through the wall of people. 

“I think that you have done enough to her for one day. Leave her be, and let me at least try to fix what you have done.” Kirk retorted, not even bothering to look at T’Pring and running his fingers through Spock’s hair. She had not moved since T’Pring had approached them. 

T’Pring looked like he actually wanted to make Spock better, but Kirk didn’t care. T’Pring had hurt the thing that he cared about most, and that – that was unforgivable. T’Pring eventually got the message and left, leaving Kirk and Spock alone at last. 

“Thank you, Kirk. I did not want to deal with that, and I really appreciate you doing that for me. I honestly needed someone to stand up for me. I do not think that I could have done that for myself. Hey Kirk, can you spend the next few mornings with me? At least until I get a better handle on my emotions?” 

Kirk could not help but smile. He looked down at the strong girl who usually did not need anyone’s help. Here she was, lying in his lap with puffy, red eyes from crying all morning. His heart ached and yearned for her. He wanted to show her how she should be treated and what she deserved from a guy. And yet, here she was, defenseless against a guy that had no right dating her. Kirk felt drawn to her, in a way that he could not explain. He wanted to protect her from everything evil in the world, and he would have sacrificed anything in order to make her happy in that moment. He would have given anything to see her smile again.


	10. The Make Up

For the next few days, Spock sought out comfort from Kirk whenever she could, whether it was laying on his shoulder in the morning or seeking him out in the hallways for a reassuring hug. Any type of physical contact from Kirk instantly comforted Spock, even though she was not typically one to seek it out. Kirk, however, never shied away from physical contact. He experienced a new found comfort from physical contact with Spock. Her touch alone instantly soothed his soul and calmed his nerves. He had never felt this close to another human – well, half human, at the very least.

About a week after Kirk found Spock crying to herself, things had begun to return to normal. Spock and T’Pring had resumed sitting together and acting as if the past week had never happened. They had returned to their original group of friends, and that did not include Kirk. He watched from afar as another guy made her laugh and smile, as another guy got to kiss and hug her. It took all of this for Kirk to admit his feelings for Spock to himself. He had finally begun to like her, just as she was getting swept off of her feet by another guy. It was because of this that he would never confess his feelings to her, or to anyone else for that matter. He did not want to ruin one relationship for another, even if he knew that the one between him and Spock was stronger. 

For the rest of the school year, Kirk watched from a distance as the relationship between Spock and T’Pring blossomed. The seasons changed and anniversaries passed, as Kirk still maintained his personal vow of silence. He watched as they exchanged valentines at Valentine’s Day, candy for Easter, and prom invitations. By this point, it was early May, and Kirk has completely repressed his feelings for Spock. He had given up pursuing her further, and had let the friendship deteriorate. 

Spock watched as Kirk distanced himself from her. She thought it was for the best for her if they did not talk anyhow. T’Pring has brought up his jealousy towards Kirk multiple times, and Spock did not want there to be any drama between the two. If she had to pick, Kirk would of course be the logical choice, but she loved T’Pring. They worked so well together, and he honestly made her happy. Besides, odds are that Kirk did not return her feelings anyway. If he had liked her at any point, he would have asked her out when she was having a fight with T’Pring. She probably would have said yes too. 

As T’Pring’s graduation drew nearer, Spock began to worry. T’Pring was a senior this year and she was only a junior. They would be apart for a minimum of a year, not to mention she had other things that she had to balance, like school and sports. She knew that she would not be able to see T’Pring that often, and that alone would take its toll on her emotionally. And she did not need that going into her senior year. There would be enough stress on her already without adding the stress of a long distance relationship in which she knew that she would be doing all of the work. So, she decided that she needed to break up with T’Pring. 

Graduation came and went, since she had decided to wait until after graduation. She went to T’Pring’s house to celebrate his graduation, and she had a wonderful time. About a week after graduation, she finally had the talk with T’Pring. He was devastated, naturally; however, he took all of his anger on the matter out on Spock. He acted as if he still cared, while constantly berating her and asking her for favors. She still helped him, because deep down, she still cared for him, despite what she had told him. She could not understand why he was so upset with her. Her reasons for their break up were strictly logical, and she had attempted to explain her reasons to him. He just did not want to listen to her about any of it. 

Spock suffered in silence for about a week before finally reaching out to the one person that could help her through this. “Hey Kirk, are you busy? I need to talk to you about something.” 

“I’m always free if you need help. What can I do for you?” Kirk replied, without hesitation. 

Spock then told Kirk her story, not leaving out a single detail. He listened without question, coaxing her when he heard her voice crack through the phone. After all this time, he was still the first person that she turned to for help. “I’ll be right over. You sound like you don’t wanna be alone right now, so I will be right there.” 

Kirk hung up immediately and rushed over to Spock’s house. She met him at the door, where she practically collapsed into his arms. He picked her up and carried her to her couch, where she laid on him and cried multiple times. While he was comforting her, Kirk could not help but be relieved. Yes, she was hurting but this pain would soon pass. He was beginning to become afraid that she would never come back to him, but she had, against all odds. It was in this moment where Kirk decided that he and Spock were destined to be together, and that they would always find one another, no matter where they were or how lost they were. It was here that Kirk realized what he and Spock truly were.


	11. The Way It Once Was

Summer came and went, passing extremely fast for both Kirk and Spock. Spock spent the whole summer healing from her nasty break up with T’Pring. Every part of her ached for him, but she knew that he was no good for her. The only thing that he had ever done for her is hurt her, and she did not need that in her life, especially not right before her senior year. Her summer was made up of heartache and pain, but she spent most of it surrounded by her closest friends, which helped her healing process. Alternatively, Kirk spent most of the summer thinking about Spock and wondering if she was alright. They never hung out during the summer, but they always talked here and there, so Kirk could check up on Spock.

School finally started once again in August, with Spock as a senior and Kirk as a junior. Spock could not be more excited for her senior year. She was taking a bunch of college level classes, and could not wait to see all of her friends again. She spent most of her morning catching with friends that she not seen over the summer. In the middle of a conversation, she felt the weight of an arm resting on her shoulder. She looked to her left to see Kirk, smiling as he used her as an armrest. She gladly smiled back as she threw his arm off of her shoulder, completely aware of the fact that he only did this to prove that he was taller than her. 

They spent the rest of the morning catching up and exchanging stories about their summer adventures. Kirk admired at how put together Spock was. He knew that the breakup had devastated her, but the girl standing before him now was not the one that he last saw in the spring. The girl he saw in front of him was independent and confident. She felt no fear in what she was doing in her life, and stronger than he had ever seen her before. She was honestly a bit intimidating to Kirk. James Kirk had never been intimidating by any woman, but this woman – she terrified him. 

The fall semester continued, Kirk and Spock got closer and closer, as if the past year had never happened. They spent their lunches flirting and finding new ways to annoy each other. They spent their mornings cuddling and listening to music together, singing along as an almost flawless duet. They spent entire days working endlessly just to make the other happy. And honestly, neither one of them had ever been happier. They played games with one another, just to see the other smile. This was the first time that either Kirk or Spock had been in a relationship where they both tried equally as hard. 

November came, and so did the news of a new movie. Jurassic World was about to come out in June, and Kirk and Spock were both obsessed with Jurassic Park. At the beginning of the year, they said that they should go together, possibly in a group, but together nonetheless to go see the movie. One day, while Kirk and Spock were texting, the early made plans came up in conversation. 

“It’s not like you have ever seen me on a date. How would you know what I am like on a date?” Spock said, slightly teasing Kirk. 

“Well, how about this? Why don’t we make Jurassic World a date? If you are truly so different on a date, we shall truly see.” Kirk replied, ever so smoothly. 

Spock could not break contact with her phone after she received the message from Kirk. He had so calmly and smoothly asked her out on a date, and even if it was seven months away, she was already starting to get nervous for it. “That sounds wonderful to me.” She tried to cover up the excitement that she now felt inside. 

“Great! I can’t wait!” said Kirk, not even bothering to hide his excitement. 

The conversation carried on, the subject of their newly formed date dropping from the conversation but not from either of their minds. Kirk was already planning what he was going to say to Spock on the date, wanting to make sure that everything went perfectly and completely according to plan. Spock was already planning on logistics of the date: possible movie times, where to buy tickets, what she was going wear, and who was going to drive. Both of their minds were working at top speed in order to prepare for the date, but they were thinking about two completely different things. 

A few more months passed, and Kirk and Spock’s relationship had continued to escalate. They had gotten immeasurably closer over the school year, but both Kirk and Spock began to fear where their relationship would escalate to. Neither one of them necessarily had a problem with them being really close. They just did not want anything to happen between them romantically before their date. They wanted a possible romantic relationship to start off perfectly. 

“Well, how about this? I’m not going to make a move on you, at least, not until our movie date. We can still flirt, but not like we have been. I tend to get bored with girls really easily, and I don’t want that to happen with you.” Kirk bargained. 

“That sounds just fine, as long as we do not have to completely change how we are acting. May I ask why you care so much about not being bored with me?” 

“Why would I want to get bored with anyone? Let alone my princess?” 

Spock completely stopped what she was doing to look at her phone. Nothing that she could say to Kirk would be an appropriate response to what he just said. She decided that the most logical course of action would be to show exactly how she felt. 

“Your…your princess? Why would you…?” 

“Because it’s true. You are my princess. And I will always be there to save you.” 

“So, does that make you my prince? 

“It makes me whatever you want me to be. I firmly believe that we will always find each other, no matter how far we stray from one another.” 

“So does that mean that you believe that we were meant to be together?” 

Kirk paused for a moment, fully thinking through what he was about to say. He determined that she was ready to hear what he had been thinking since the end of laat semester. 

“Yes, Spock, I do believe that. I don’t think that it was a coincidence that we met in the cafeteria so long ago. I think that we were meant to find each other, just like I was meant to find you after you broke up with T’Pring. We didn’t talk for close to a year, and yet, we came right back to each other, as if nothing had happened. Spock, I believe that we are soulmates.” 

Spock could not believe what he had just told her. Soulmates? She had always read stories about soulmates, and she had always hoped that she would find hers. But she had never thought that she would actually find hers, especially so early in her life. 

“I could see how we would be soulmates. That would actually explain why we are both so drawn to one another, no matter what happens. That would also explains why we both feel the need to protect each other, in every scenario. I never considered that as a possibility until now, but now that you have said that, I can see no way how we are not bonded together.” 

As soon as Kirk put a label on their relationship, everything became so much clearer to Spock. They were soulmates, bondmates, or in her world, t’hy’la. Everything that had happened to them in the past 2 years all seemed to be pushing them together. Even her dating T’Pring for a year ended up making them closer in the end. One day in January, Kirk had admitted to Spock that when she was in a fight with T’Pring, he had fallen the hardest for her and that he had never quite that way since. But now that she knew that her and Kirk were t’hy’la, it became a lot easier for her to admit her feelings for Kirk, and that she was completely head over heels in love with him.


	12. Nothing Goes the Way You Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little more dialogue filled than the rest. I hope most of you have kept reading until this point. Please give me feedback! I greatly appreciate it! <3

Just as Kirk promised, he backed off of Spock romantically. At first, he still sat with her in the mornings and still always talked to her. As the semester progressed, however, he began to spend more and more time away from her. He began standing with other people in the mornings, he began skipping out on her during lunch, and he began to get more distant. None of that bothered Spock, though. She trusted Kirk enough not to worry about them growing distant. He had promised her a date, and she knew that she would get one.  


One day, Spock finally asked Kirk where he was wandering off to. She was beginning to get curious.  


“Oh, you noticed?” Kirk said nervously.  


“It is hardly impossible to ignore your absence Kirk. The fact that you are getting nervous about the very fact that I am asking this question shows that you are hiding something from me.”  


“I…uh…met a girl. Another girl, anyway.”  


Spock froze, but then loosened up. She could not let her emotions show through, so she hid them away from Kirk, only showing her happiness for him. A small part of her still trusted that he would at least give her the date, even if he did not want her.  


“That’s nice.”  


“So, you’re not upset?’  


“Kirk, it is very rare that I feel anger or sadness. If you find your attention turned to another girl that is fine, as long you uphold your promise to our date. After then, you may do whatever you wish, although I am sure that you already know that.”  


“Shh shh shh.” Kirk whispered as he brought Spock close for a hug. “You are still my princess and I am still yours.”  


Spock smiled and returned the hug, feeling a lot better about Kirk liking another girl. Admittedly, she was getting worried about it, but it was good to hear that he was still hers. No one had ever declared themselves as hers before, and it was somewhat comforting to know that she always had another person there for her. Her childhood was not always the easiest, and she never had someone there to support her. She was not about to give up on the only person that was always there for her.  


The next few months passed extremely quickly, due to final tests and projects. Before she knew it, it was a week before their big date. Kirk was still talking to that girl, but Spock still trusted him. The next day at school, Kirk walked straight up to Spock.  


“Spock, I need to tell you something. Will you come to a room with me?”  


Spock followed wordlessly, entering a room and waited for Kirk to shut the door behind her.  


“What is this about, Kirk?”  


“Do you remember that girl I told you about?”  


Spock nodded silently. She already knew where this conversation was headed, although she was denying it in her head and praying that it was not true.  


“Her name is Carol, and she asked me out last night. And I said yes!”  


,

Kirk couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice. He was so happy to have found a girl that liked him in return. He got along so well with Carol. Amidst his thoughts, he looked up at Spock to see her reaction. As soon as his eyes fell upon her face, his mood plummeted.  


“What is wrong, Spock?”  


Despite her feelings, Spock managed a smile, even though her eyes were beginning to fill with water and her cheeks began to turn green as the rage inside her built up.  


“Nothing Kirk. I suppose it is not a date anymore then.”  


Kirk thought through what Spock had said. All at once, Kirk’s body felt ten times heavier than it actually was, and it felt like his soul was being drained from him.  


“Oh, I didn’t realize…I totally didn’t think about that before I said yes. I never would have said yes if I knew that it would affect you like this. I promise that I will still treat our date as a date.”  


“No Kirk. You have a girlfriend now, so we must keep our relationship purely platonic. I will still go with you to see the movie, however, it is no longer a date.”  


Spock left, before Kirk could get a word in otherwise. Frankly, she did not want to hear anything that he had left to say. He had made a decision without thinking how the consequences affected other people around him – without thinking about how it affected her. Kirk, on the other hand, could barely stand. He had broken a promise to Spock, but it was so much more than that. He had broken her trust – and her heart. He knew exactly how she felt, and did nothing about it. Carol made him happy, but seeing Spock hurt made him unhappier than he had ever been.  


The date of the movie had approached. Before Kirk had met Carol, Kirk and Spock had decided to go to the movie showing dressed as characters from Jurassic Park. Ironically, they ended up dressing as Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler, who end up together in the movie. They had not changed their plans when Kirk began to date Carol, but now, the costumes just provided sarcasm to the day. Spock got dressed and left to go pick up Kirk. They arrived at the theater early, and finally found their seats.  


At first, Spock thought that she could get through the movie without intense emotional outbursts. Out of nowhere, Kirk laid his head on Spock’s shoulder. Spock froze and looked down at Kirk.  


“What…What are you doing?” Spock inquired.  


“I promised you that I would still make this like a date.”  


Spock realized that Kirk was doing what he was doing out of pity, and just because he felt bad for what he had done. They continued like this for the rest of the movie, with Spock never initiating physical contact. They stayed throughout the credits and then left. They talked about the movie the whole way home, no one bringing up the tension between them. When Spock pulled into Kirk’s driveway in order to drop him off, the conversation screeched to a halt as didthe car.  


“Thanks for still going with me.” Kirk said. “Oh hey, I got something for you.  


Spock looked on, intrigued, as Kirk pulled something out of the pocket of his jeans. It was a necklace with a bronze turtle pendant hanging from it. Spock had seen Kirk wear this necklace many times over the years.  


“But, this is your turtle necklace. You wear it almost every day.”  


“And now, I want you to have it. Keep it, as a reminder of me. You are going off to college in a few months, and I do not want you to forget me.”  


“Kirk, why are you really giving it to me?”  


“I…I know that I am not always there for you when you need me, and I know that it hurts you when I am not there. So, maybe having something of mine to have and to hold will help ease your pain.”  


Spock could not help but smile. She took the necklace from Kirk and placed it around her neck. He looked at it hanging there, and couldn’t help but think how well the necklace suited her. They managed a hug and Kirk left, leaving Spock alone to her thoughts. She drove straight home, but stopped in her driveway. She looked down at the necklace around her neck. The words of Kirk flowed through her mind as she thought about what he had said. She had no idea what would become of their relationship now. Logically, they could go either way at this point; it all rested upon how Kirk handled having a girlfriend that was not Spock.


	13. A Year in Review

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took so long. My life has been a little crazy lately, and so I haven't had time to channel my emotions properly.

Almost a year had passed since Spock had left for Starfleet Academy, which was located in San Francisco. Since she left, her relationship with Kirk – well, it was not in the best of conditions.

She did not see Kirk again that summer after their “ex-date”. They played online together, but they did not hang out again that summer. Spock took the time away from Kirk to work on herself, to fix herself before she left for the Academy. She did not want all of this petty drama to affect her performance in Starfleet. Since she never saw Kirk, and they barely spoke, it made it somewhat easier to heal. However, when they did talk, Kirk never made it easy on her. Carol was his first real girlfriend, and Kirk did not know how to handle it. He still subconsciously flirted with Spock, and it broke her heart each time that he did. 

Once she got to the Academy, however, it became a whole lot easier to move on from Kirk – or, at least, distract herself from him. Her classes kept her plenty busy, and any free time that she had outside of her studies were taken up by dance lessons and practice. She only had one break about once a month. The first time that she went home, she just stayed with her family, since it was just a weekend excursion. 

The second time, however, was a totally different story. Her first “long” break away from the Academy came at the beginning of October, a little less than a week before Kirk’s birthday. Spock had made arrangements to surprise Kirk at school, and to hopefully see him again before she left. 

Spock arose at 6 am on that Friday morning, half excited to see Kirk after 4 months, but also half wanting to go back to sleep. Despite her body’s pleas to return to bed, she got up and got dressed, taking the time to make sure that she looked her best. She got to school earlier than Kirk, so she sat with some other friends until her arrived. Once he arrived, she made a beeline straight for him. As he walked towards the spot where he typically sat with Carol, Spock intercepted him before he got there. 

“Good morning, Jim.” Spock said, as she stepped in front of Kirk, blocking his path. It took him a few moments to realize who she was, and what she had said. Once it came together in his head, Kirk’s eyes began to shine brighter than Spock had ever seen, and a huge smile erupted over his face. 

“Spock! What…What are you doing here? I didn’t expect you home for another week!” 

“I thought a surprise was in order so logically, I would not tell you that I would be coming. I thought you might like it. Oh, and speaking of surprises, I have one for you over with my stuff.” 

Spock then turned sharply and began walking towards her stuff, not even bothering to look and see if Kirk was following her. Once she reached her belongings, she turned around to find Kirk making his way over to her, after he had set his backpack down next to Carol. Kirk’s present was wrapped neatly and precisely with a ribbon added to the top for decoration. Spock held his present in her outstretched hand, waiting for Kirk to take it from her. Before she could react, Kirk scooped her up into his arms and gave her the biggest hug that he had ever given her. 

“It’s great to see you! This surprise is better than any present that you could have ever given me.” Kirk whispered in her ear, as they stood there, locked in each other’s arms. 

They broke apart, allowing Spock to finally give Kirk his present. He unwrapped it to reveal a Jurassic World shirt, one that looked as if someone had actually went to Jurassic World and bought the shirt for him. He loved the present, and wished that he could spend more time with Spock, but the bell rang for class, forcing him to leave her for the day. 

Kirk and Spock hung out once more before Spock had to report back to the Academy. Spock had talked Kirk into attending a local football game, even though Kirk did not usually attend such events on his own. They spent the evening catching up and reminiscing about how they used to be. Over the course of the game, Kirk and Spock found themselves becoming closer and closer, eventually ending up with Spock laying her head on Kirk’s chest and Kirk’s arms laying around Spock’s waist. In this moment, neither one thought about problems or cares or frankly, anything else in the world. They lie still, preserved in the moment and simply enjoying each other’s company. Inevitably, the game ends and they are forced apart once more. 

As they both lay in bed that night, they both think about the night that they just had. Spock questions the night that she just had. Why would Kirk do this, even though he has a girlfriend? Does he know what nights like tonight do to her, how they test her will and stretch her resolve? Despite all of her internal voices telling her that she should not be still in love with him, Spock was still overwhelmed with joy that Kirk had still treated her the same, if not better. On the other hand, Kirk has sudden realizations about the past few months without Spock. He realized how empty the past months had been, and he wished that he had said something to Spock about their growing distance. He had missed her: the way she talked, the way she smiled, the way she made his heart skip a beat. He loved everything about her, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her, not if he had left her for another girl. 

The rest of the school year did not reflect the happiness of this last night that they shared together. Kirk and Carol got closer to one another, and Kirk and Spock grew farther apart. Senior year for Kirk became hectic, and he became too busy for many things, including Spock. Spock pretended like she did not see what was happening, but in reality, she knew that Kirk was pushing her away, and she let him do it. She had a few romantic interests throughout the year, but they all fell through. Her last relationship, which happened in February, had actually helped to heal her from the damage that Kirk had done. The relationship ended up falling through, and Spock chalked it up to a right person, wrong timing scenario. Even though she hurt, she knew that the relationship had made her stronger, and had helped her move on from Kirk. 

Many nights, Kirk had thought about messaging Spock and telling her how he felt. He thought about telling her the constant pain that he put himself through, punishing himself for the heartache that he had caused her. He wanted to tell her about how he regretted hurting her, and that he would chose her if he could go back and choose again. He loved Carol, he truly did. But, he could feel no love like the love that he felt for Spock. He loved her more intensely than he could love any other person in the galaxy the way that he loved her. However, he could never hurt Carol like that, so he kept his pain to himself, suffering in silence. Finally, one night, he decided to make his stand.


	14. We Grow Together

In the middle of June, Kirk graduated and threw a party afterwards to celebrate his achievement. He invited Spock, of course. She had thought about not going, but in the end, she ended up going. Since she had moved on, it made seeing Kirk and Carol together much more bearable, more tolerable than she ever thought possible, actually. Whenever she got uncomfortable, she simply walked away, leaving Kirk with his other friends. However, what she never saw was the pained look in his eyes every time that she left. Kirk had wanted to spend some quality time with Spock, but she had stopped waiting around for him.

Later that night, after she had left, Kirk messaged Spock. The conversation began normal, with both of them talking about the party. As the night wore on, the topic of conversation shifted to their relationship, and how it had devolved into what it had now become. For the first time in a long time, Kirk began talking about their relationship to Spock, and finally knew how he felt about them. 

“Spock…I miss us. I miss the way that we used to be, how close we used to be.” Kirk confessed. 

“I miss us too. However, I did everything that I could to stop this from happening. I had to let go at some point. Our relationship was way too toxic to be healthy for me.” 

“Yeah, I know that. I just wish that I had stopped you from leaving. I can’t stand how I hurt you. It pains me to know how I hurt you the past year. It kills me to know that I could hurt someone that means so much to me. What can I do to help the situation?” 

Spock stared at her phone, trying to craft her response. So many possibilities were running through her mind – some were more harsh than others, some more logical. 

“I can’t tell you how to fix us. That is something that you need to figure out for yourself. If I told you how to fix it, the problem will never truly be fixed.” 

“Yeah, I figured that you would say something to that effect. I just can’t stand the fact that we are like this. I would do just about anything to fix what happened between us.” 

Spock could hear the pain in his voice as Kirk texted her. He sounded so trapped in his own life, not being able to do anything except watch his life go by. 

“Then, fix it. No one is stopping you. However, I just hope that you know that we can never get back to where we were, not if you are dating someone else. About a third of our relationship is based on flirting and physical contact, and we can’t exactly do that if you are in a relationship.” 

“You’re right. Our relationship only works if we are both single – or if we are together.” 

“Correct. It is for this reason that I tend to hold back from physical contact, and wait for you to initiate all contact.” 

“So, what can I do to fix this?” 

Spock thought carefully about her answer. She thought about actually telling Kirk how she felt. The more she thought about it, however, the more she realized that she could not tell Kirk what he should do. She knew that the only true way for their relationship to be fixed would be for Kirk to break up with Carol. It would hurt Kirk, but after he healed, they could begin to work on their relationship…all aspects of it. However, she could never tell him this, even if it was the logical thing to do. If she told him, he would only do it because she told him to do it, and not because he thought it was the right thing to do. 

“James, I cannot tell you what you are supposed to do. Either way, your decision is going to hurt someone. It’s up to you to decide which is best for you. And, as long as you do that, I support you and the choice you make.” 

Kirk looked at her message, attempting to make something of it. “Gee thanks, for the impossibly cryptic message.” Kirk thought to himself. Leave it to Spock to tell him what to do in riddle form. 

“Yeah, I know that it’s up to me. I’m just not sure what to do.” 

As much as Spock was intrigued by hearing that Kirk actually thought about their relationship, and as disheartened that she was to hear that he was tortured by what he had done to her, she did not want to carry on this conversation. She knew that Kirk was extremely hard-headed, so she could not talk him out of causing himself mental pain. She decided to change the subject, to make it easier on both her and Kirk. 

The night progressed, but no mention of their relationship was ever brought up again that night. Spock felt bad for her best friend, and longed to comfort him until he felt happy once more. Kirk wanted to right this wrongs, and fix the broken mess that he had left in his wake. He knew that, with either decision that he made, someone would get hurt. It was up to him to decide on who the pain was inflicted.


	15. We All Need a Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long. I have been busy the past few weeks, and my emotions have been all over the place. Thank you so much for being patient with me! :)

Summer came and went, and despite their deep conversations, nothing truly changed between Kirk and Spock. They hung out more over summer break, but they never truly got closer. When fall arrived, Spock left for Starfleet Academy, with Kirk staying at home to look after his little siblings. He could not stand to be away from her for this long again. Kirk knew that since Spock had already been at the academy for a year, she would come home less often, and he wanted to see her. But, how could he face her if he could not even do what was necessary to make her happy? Over the course of the summer, Kirk had realized that the only way to repair his relationship with Spock was to end things with Carol.

But how could he? He truly loved her and cared for her. He could not bring himself to purposefully inflict pain on the ones that he cared for. Kirk could not bring himself to see the big picture – that is, until he got the phone call from Spock late one night. 

“Hey, I know it is late, and you typically do not talk on the phone, but I really need this right now.” 

“Hold on, and I’ll do better.” Kirk hung up the phone on Spock and pulled her up on a video chat. This way, he could see her and talk to her. 

Spock began by telling him of a guy that she had met, and how they had gotten along. Kirk could see the sparkle in her eyes as she talked about him, the exact same sparkle that she had once had for him. His heart winced at the thought that she now cared for another man. As Spock continued, the story turned dark. The man whom she once spoke fondly of had played her, only using her to make another girl jealous. Her eyes began to fill with tears as she poured her heart out to Kirk about this guy. 

All of the while, Kirk listened to Spock and something broke inside of him. He could never forgive himself for the pain that he had put her through, and he had accepted that she would never forgive him either. But this…he could fix this. He could barely stand it when he had hurt her himself, but now that someone else had hurt her, it was an entirely different feeling. The very next day, he made his decision to end things with Carol. He needed Spock; more importantly, he needed her to be happy. Whether that was with him or without him, he did not care, but he had to do everything in his power in order to make her happy. 

The break up did not go smoothly, although Kirk never thought that it would. Naturally, Carol had suspected that Kirk was leaving her for Spock. However, that was not what Kirk was doing, even though it might have seemed like that. It was true that Kirk loved Spock more than Carol, but the break up was more for Kirk than for Spock. He needed to make himself happy before he could even dream of making Spock happy, and what made him happy was being able to hold Spock, to flirt with her, to at the very least act like she was his, even if it was just pretend. Consequently, all of these things ended up making Spock happy as well. 

As soon as he saved up the money, Kirk bought a plane ticket to San Francisco. He showed up at Spock’s door that night. Without any hesitation, he gave her the biggest hug that he could, and when she began sobbing into his shoulder, he did what he did best, which was comforting her. They stayed up all night, exchanging stories and reliving their pain in the safety of each other’s company. She never knew whether it was her emotional distress or her faith, but Spock never hid anything from Kirk that night. Anything he asked her, she told him without question or hesitation. 

After the weekend ended, Kirk had to head home. The morning that he left, Kirk and Spock barely left the warmth and comfort of the bed. They laid in bed, without making a sound, enjoying each other’s company. They both knew the end to their weekend vacation was over, but neither one of them wanted to say goodbye. At the last possible moment, they got out of bed, and Kirk gathered his belongings. 

They stood together at the door, neither knowing what to say or do. Eventually, Kirk wrapped his arms around Spock’s waist, hugging and holding her close to his own body. After a few moments, Kirk’s hold weakened but never broke completely. Spock felt this, and pulled her head up to look Kirk in his eyes. They stared into each other’s eyes, looking for a sign to make the next move. Their faces were already close enough, but they never touched. Kirk and Spock released one another, Kirk leaned over and kissed the top of Spock’s head, and left without saying another word.


	16. A New Beginning

Within the next few months, Kirk and Spock had grown to be as close as they had ever been. They communicated all throughout the day, and usually ended their day with a two hour long phone call with one another.

One night, the phone call went on much longer than usual, as the call was approaching about four hours at this point. Kirk could tell that they were both getting tired, so he suggested that they hang up the phone and go to bed. Spock agreed to this, but neither one hung up the phone. Instead, they both lingered on the line, not saying a word but understanding how the other felt. Spock felt as if she and Kirk had walked up to the edge of a cliff. They stood there, on the cusp on the cliff, but neither daring to venture off of the edge. 

Love was a thing that many Vulcans could not understand. Logic was the precise opposite of love, and logic was the very thing that all Vulcans prided themselves on. However, Spock has a half bred child, having a Vulcan father, Sarek, and a Human mother, Amanda. When she was a child, she once asked her father why he married her mother. Her father being the Vulcan ambassador to Earth, his answer was “Marrying your mother was…logical.” 

This left its mark on Spock, who was at an age where everything left its imprint. This reply from her father showed her the importance of logic in the world around her. It also crushed any fantasies of love that her young mind had. Years later, after the sudden passing of her mother, Spock found herself questioning her parents’ relationship once again. This time, a grief stricken Sarek comforted his daughter. Spock questioned her father’s emotions for her mother, quoting what he once told her. Sarak replied “You asked me once why I married your mother. I married her because I loved her.” 

This conversation with her father was what was currently racing through Spock’s mind. Her father was fully Vulcan, and yet, he was still fully capable of love. And now, here she lay, on the phone with Kirk, fighting back the urge to declare her love for him. She felt it deep down in her chest, like a tightening in her chest. She wanted to say something, but wanted him to be sure of his feelings before she said anything to him about it. 

After a moment of silence, Kirk finally broke the silence. “We both want to say it, and yet neither of us will say it.” Spock waited in silence. She understood how they felt, but could not bring herself to push both of them off of this cliff, not if both of them were not ready. 

“Do you want me to say it, Spock?” Kirk asked, cutting through the silence once more. 

Spock considered both the pros and cons of not saying it. Logically, there was nothing to gain from putting it off. They were most likely to say it at some point, and the only thing to gain from not saying it was more heartache. On the other hand, they had not even started dating yet, and it seemed rather soon to be making this accusation. 

“Yes Kirk. I want you to say it.” 

Kirk sighed audibly on the phone, uncharacteristically nervous over what he was about to do. 

“I love you, Spock.” 

“I love you too, Kirk.” 

They said goodnight, and hung up without another word. The tightening in Spock’s chest relaxed, and she could not contain the happiness in her heart and in her mind. Even though it was not the Vulcan way to feel emotion, Spock could not help her human side. The corners of her mouth tugged slightly into a smile, and she looked lovingly at her phone. As if it read her mind, her phone buzzed and she had a message from Kirk. 

“I’m really glad that I finally said it. I don’t know about you, but I cannot stop smiling.” That very text made her smile by itself. She had finally found something that made her as happy as she could get, something that might be worth embracing her human side.


	17. We All Do Crazy Things for Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty dialogue heavy chapter. I hope you guys like this.

The next day, Kirk and Spock decided that they should get together to talk about the night before. Spock had already been to Kirk’s house, so they decided to meet there. They both knew what conversation was coming, and they were both were attempting to prepare for any situation that might come up.  


Spock came back home the following weekend, so that they could talk about this. She drove over to his house right as she got back home. Kirk opened the door, smiled, and let Spock inside. Spock placed her hands inside of her pockets and stepped inside the house. She had been here so many times before, but none were more awkward and dreaded as this visit.  


“Where are your parents?” she asked, noticing that the house was uncharacteristically quiet.  


“They went out for date night. They should be back in about an hour or so.”  


Spock nodded along with what he said, not completely enjoying the fact that Kirk’s parents were not home at the moment.  


“Would you like to have a seat on the couch? I can get you something to drink.”  


“No, thank you. I’ll feel much better once we have this conversation.” she replied, as she made her way to the couch in Kirk’s living room.  


They both sat down, each waiting for the other to make the first move. There was an awkward silence for a few moments, before Kirk finally spoke up and said something.  


“So, we clearly have feelings for each other. We made that pretty clear last week. I feel like we should discuss where we go from here.”  


“Well, we have two options” Spock retorted. “We can either keep this up and see where it goes, or we can choose to keep our relationship the same as it once was, and remain friends.”  


Kirk looked at her, and could not help but smile. He knew, despite the fact that she embraced her Vulcan side, that she had feelings for him. However, she could put all of that aside, and focus on the logic of the situation. It was one of the many things that he loved about her.  


“I would like to see where this goes.” Kirk answered. “But, I assume that you already knew that would be my answer…”  


Spock nodded her head, and looked away. Did she really want to get involved with Kirk? She knew the reputation that he had in high school, and she did not want to be just another girl that he dated. She did not want to be a statistic, a long forgotten memory years down the road. On the other hand, Kirk treated her like no other girl. She was the only girl that he ever opened up to, the only one to whom he let down his guarded and suave facade. She knew things about him that no one else knew, and he knew things about her that no one else knew either. Deep down, logic aside, she knew that Kirk would treat her differently.  


“Yes, that is what I thought. Considering that you do not ever think about the logic of the situation at hand, I thought that you would want to date me.”  


“Is that your way of telling me that you don’t want to date me, Spock?”  


“It is not that I do not want to. I have been weighing the pros and cons of us becoming a couple ever since that night.”  


“What problems do you have with it?” he asked, trying to see if he could change her mind.  


“The main deterrent is how you are with every other girl. You gave the bare minimum to every relationship that I have seen you in. Vulcans are not like that. Once we determine that someone is a worthy mate, we give all of ourselves to that person. I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who will not do the same for me.”  


Kirk listened to her, his heart sinking when she talked about how little he gave to relationships. He knew that she was right, as much as he did not want to admit it to himself. The simple fact that she knew this about him already showed how much she truly knew him, and he could not let someone this important to him walk away.  


“Listen, Spock… I know that I have not given all that I could have to other girls. But you are not other girls. You know stuff about me before I even know it myself. I know that I have hurt you in the past, but I need you to trust me on this. I will never hurt you, and I will give every bit of myself to you. I just need you to believe me when I say that."  


She watched his face as he pleaded with her. His eyes became glassy, as if tears were beginning to form. He kept his attention focused on her, and never wavered from her. She could not deny that he was telling the truth. In her mind, the decision came down to a gamble, an act of faith.  


“Kirk, I trust you. And, if you are ok with it, I would like to go out on a date with you.”  


What Kirk did next he did not know what he did until after it was over. He grabbed Spock by the shoulders and kissed her. Her eyes widened in shock, but as the kiss went on, she closed her eyes and relaxed. Kirk’s hands fell down to her waist and stayed there. Spock’s hands began to run through Kirk’s hair and down the back of his neck. Eventually they pulled away, with Kirk’s face turning a brilliant shade of pink as the green color began to show in Spock’s cheeks. They touched foreheads and sighed, both relieved at their current situation. They kissed a little longer, each more passionate than the last.  


After a few more kisses, Spock pulled away. “I have to go home.” she said. "I have to go see my family."  


“One more kiss.” Kirk begged. “I have no idea when I will see you again, so can I have one more kiss?”  


Spock smiled, and got up from the couch. She grabbed her purse off of the coat rack, and put on her shoes. Kirk walked her to the door, still hoping for the kiss but content with what he had got. As soon as Spock got her shoes on, she reached up, grabbed the collar of Kirk’s shirt, pulled him closer to her, and kissed him. Kirk was surprised, but gave in to her.  


“What… what was that?” he asked, after they broke away.  


“A kiss. You asked for one, did you not? I told you, you get all of me now. There is no more holding back, and I have wanted to do that for a very long time.”  


Spock gave Kirk a coy smile as she spun around, and headed out of the door. Kirk stood in the hallway, speechless at what just had happened. That was a side of Spock that he had never seen before, one that he hoped that he would see a lot more often.


	18. Take a Chance

As she got into her car, Spock could not help but smile. She had a date with her best friend, whom she had always wanted to go out with. He had made it clear that he returned her feelings which made her even more excited about the date. She drove home, her mind racing with all of the possibilities that this date held. They could go anywhere in town and do almost anything. As she laid her head down on her pillow that night, she dreamed of James Kirk.  


The next few days, Spock could not get Kirk off of her mind. She thought about him when she got up in the mornings when she went to bed at night and every moment in between. Of course, it did not help that they were in constant communication throughout the day. They texted all of the time, and with the texting came the endless flirting. Kirk had perfected the art over the years, but Spock was new to the concept. She had never had the need to develop that particular skill before, but luckily for her, she was a fast learner.  


After a few days of buildup, Kirk and Spock decided on a day for their date. They decided on something simple to do; they decided to go to the mall and just hang out. Spock did not want something too formal for their first date, considering how awkward first dates tend to be or so she read. They also decided to meet there, so that there would be no weird car rides.  


Spock arrived there first, as she was following her policy of always being 15 minutes early for an engagement. She had already told Kirk what part of the mall she would be, so she ambled around until he got there. Surprisingly, he did not make her wait long. He got there only a few minutes after her. As he strolled to where Spock told him that she would be, Spock got a look at what he was wearing from inside a nearby store.  


Kirk was wearing a dark gray t-shirt with a black leather jacket over it, and a pair of dark jeans that were a bit tighter than anything Spock had ever seen him in. Her final analysis was that he was trying to impress her, but did not want to look like he was. His hair looked slightly ruffled, but she could tell that there was a bit of product in it, since it looked fluffier than usual. Every detail about him looked immaculate as if nothing was out of place and everything was exactly how he wanted it. After seeing him like this, Spock could see why every girl in school would fawn over him. After admiring him for a bit, Spock stepped out and revealed herself.  


He had no idea what to expect: for the first time in his life, James Kirk could not anticipate what would come of a date. He had spent the past few days thinking about everything that he could do to make it perfect, and the past few hours making sure every part of his appearance was perfect. And then he saw her, and his definition of perfect was immediately redefined. She was wearing a black and white striped dress, which seemed to hit every one of her curves perfectly. She had curled her hair, which Kirk had never seen before, and she seemed to have makeup on her face. He had always seen her as the girl who hid behind her long hair which hid her face and logic which hid her beautiful personality. He had never seen her like this before, and it completely blew his mind. He remained speechless until she had walked over to him and said something to him.  


“Hi Kirk.” Spock said, brushing the hair off of her face.  


“Uhhhhhh hi.” He replied, too awestruck to say anything else.  


“What? What is it? Is it my dress? Does it not look good? Does my makeup look bad?” she asked, obviously wanting everything to be perfect just as much as Kirk did.  


“No no, you look…perfect. I could not ask you to look any better.”  


Spock blushed a deep green as he said this, being reminded how smooth Kirk could be when he wanted to be. She put her head down and her arms dropped to her sides. Spock was still getting used to the flirting, and she had no idea how to respond. Kirk noticed this and took a mental note of this.  


“I’m kind of hungry. Do you want to go get some food?” Kirk asked.  


“Sure!” Spock replied, happy to get away from the flirting for a bit.  


They walked together to the food court of the mall. Considering it was a date, Kirk took it upon himself to treat Kirk with all of the typical mannerisms: he paid for her food, he carried her food to the table, he pulled out her chair for her, and he threw away her trash. Spock has always assumed that Kirk did all of these things. Since he was brought up in Iowa, Spock thought that the culture had rubbed off on him, and indeed it had.  


For the rest of the time, they walked around the mall. They walked into stores that they were mutually interested in. They eventually walked into the only bookstore in the mall. They walked around the section of the bookstore where all of the “nerdy” stuff resided, and they each entertained the other with the things they found. They wandered over to the science section and began to browse the books they thought were fascinating. After that, they perused the rest of the store, seeing what random books they could find. They laughed with one another and enjoyed the time they could spend together.  


After the bookstore, they realized that the time had flown by, and they had to leave. As they walked the span of mall that they had left, Kirk took a chance.  


“So, your birthday is next week, isn’t it? he asked.  


“Yes, it is.” Spock replied, not entirely sure where Kirk was going with this.  


“Well…” he paused for a moment to gather his courage. “I was hoping that I could take you out sometime next week, for your birthday.”  


Spock hesitated. In all of her thoughts about this date, never once did she contemplate the chance of there being another date.  


“Kirk, I’m not entirely sure about that. I don’t know if I can.”  


“Oh come on, Spock, please. I really want to do this for you. You truly deserve this, and I want to be able to do it.”  


“Uhhhh, sure, that’s fine. We can go out.” Spock said, without thinking. Short term, another date was not all that bad. However, logic reigned in her mind, and she was hesitant since she had not yet thought about all of the repercussions of this. But, for the time being, she was excited about their next date, especially since she saw the way Kirk’s eyes had sparkled when she had said yes.  


Kirk walked her back to her car and opened her door for her. Spock placed her purse and keys on the driver’s seat of her car before turning around to face Kirk. He placed his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, keeping him close to her. They pulled away just long enough to share a kiss, which ended in them making jokes and laughing.  


With the way the light was shining off of Kirk’s hair and eyes, Spock found him extremely irresistible. However, since this was the first date, she tried to keep a lid on it until the relationship properly developed. Kirk, however, was not too keen on following these “guidelines”. He pushed Spock up against the side of her car and crushed his lips to hers, transferring his passion and frenzy into her. Thankfully, she could keep a lid on her emotions to an extent, but around Kirk, that lid seemed to not work as well as it once did. Overall, Spock evaluated that it was not necessarily a bad thing that he made her feel this way. In any case, it made her fall faster for him.


	19. Never Tasted Something So Sweet

Whatever she did, Spock could not get Kirk off of her mind. She thought of him tirelessly, no matter what she did during the day. She thought of him while she read books in her room, while she went for runs in the hot, summer sun, even while she worked. No matter what she did, she could not get James Kirk out of her mind. She had never been so starstruck with someone before, especially not someone who was younger than her. He seemed to have a hold on her, and as much as she liked to deny it, she kind of enjoyed it.  


All throughout the day, Kirk’s thoughts wavered. They moved in and out and covered a vast amount of topics. However, there was one common thread among all of his thoughts. No matter where his mind wandered, no matter how distant and unrelated his thoughts seemed, they always came back to her. He thought of how her hair cascaded onto her shoulders, how she talked with her hands and how expressive she was, and how she had a way of floating, dancing even, when she walked. Her movements were so fluid and graceful that it mesmerized him to the point that he could not help but stare. Sure, James Kirk was used to staring at girls, but never for things like this. He had never fallen this much for a girl, but he kind of liked how much he had for Spock, not that he would ever admit that to anyone  


Their second date had finally arrived. They had decided to meet a dessert cafe in the city. Even though it had not been said, both assumed that they should dress up, since the restaurant was a bit more classy than the local mall. Getting ready for the date was extremely easy for Spock. Half of her wardrobe would typically be considered casual, and the other half was more formal. She picked out a simple black, button-up blouse and red pencil skirt. She already knew that those were her best colors, and she felt extremely confident in what she was wearing.  


Kirk, however, was not having such an easy time choosing an outfit. He had never particularly cared how he looked for a date, nor had a date that was this formal. He decided that he should go out and buy some new clothing, just to be perfectly safe. He bought a gray blazer and matching dress pants. He also bought a green shirt, knowing that green brings out the blue in his eyes. He got dressed at home, and messed with his hair for the next two hours in an attempt to get it perfect.  


They met up at the restaurant. Kirk got there first, so Spock simply pulled in next to him. She saw from inside her car that he was dressed nice too, and was glad that she decided to dress up. They both got out of their cars and walked to see each other. They looked one another up and down and could not help but smile. They both had dressed up and taken the time to look really nice, and all of the effort was paying off as they stared at each other.  


“Do you want to go in and eat, or stand here staring for the next three hours?” Kirk asked, jokingly. Spock smiled at him, took his arm, and followed him inside the restaurant. It was a quaint little cafe on the outside, but the inside was so much bigger. It was modeled after a cafe in Paris, and it looked wonderful. They had so many options for desserts, and they all looked so delicious. The line was long, which gave them time to enjoy each other’s company and decide what they wanted to eat. Kirk decided on a simple chocolate eclair, while Spock picked the chocolate cake. Their desserts were served on white and blue china, along with silver forks. Kirk paid for their food, and they set off in search of a table.  


The seating was set up as a circle around the kitchen. Every table was different, as was every chair. There were iron ones, wooden ones, couches, and love seats. They walked to the back of the restaurant and found an open table by a window. They looked out on an enclosed walkway, which held even more seating. They sat down and realized that neither of them had grabbed water or napkins. Kirk moved to get them, but Spock was already up.  


“I got it. Just stay there, ok?” she asked, smiling coyly as she did. If Spock could pride herself on anything, it was her ability to learn at an advanced pace, and Kirk was the king of flirting. He could do it better than anyone she knew, and she been picking up on it for a few years now. She just had no one to use her new-found knowledge on until now. Before he could debate with her, she had disappeared around the corner.  


Kirk sat at the table, dumbfounded at what just happened. On a date with any other girl, he was the perfect gentleman, always making sure the girl had everything she wanted and getting it if she needed it. But now, he was the one being waited on. As if to add insult to injury, she was flirting with him while she did it. Kirk knew that Spock was good at many things, but he had no idea being a tease was one of them. She came back with two cups full of water, and a handful of napkins.  


“Why are you looking at me so weirdly?” she asked as she placed the cups and napkins on the table. Kirk had been giving her the googly-eyes ever since he had seen her walking back to their table  


“Nothing...you’re just really beautiful tonight, that’s all.” he replied, turning his charm back on.  


“Oh thanks! I think you look really handsome too.” And just like that, Kirk was cut back down to where he started. Normally, when he called a girl beautiful, she blushed and looked down, but Spock never even turned one shade of green darker. She had him beat, in all meanings of the word. His normal moves would not work on her. She knew every trick of his because she knew him before he had developed his “swagger”.  


She could see his mind working, trying to come up with something. She had started a chess match that she knew Kirk could win, but only if he made the right moves. They ate the rest of their desserts one-handed, holding hands as they ate their desserts. They looked up and smiled at each other every so often, and made jokes and small talk. Once they finished their desserts, Kirk cleaned their plates up, and they stayed to talk some more.  


After a little while, they had to leave, so Kirk walked Spock to her car. Once again, she placed her purse and keys on the driver’s seat and turned around to say goodnight to Kirk. However, this time, instead of being met with a hug, she was met with a passionate kiss. In the midst of the passion, Kirk closed her car door and walked forward, until Spock’s back was completely against it. His hands dropped to her waist and pulled her closer. Her hands ran up to his neck and wrapped around it. His tongue traced the outline of her lips, but that was as far as it went. He felt her body shudder as his tongue wandered, and he knew he had found her weakness.  


For most girls, it was how he spoke to them or how he acted like a gentleman. But, for Spock, it was his passion, his lust and infatuation with her that drove her over the edge. At that moment, Kirk knew that she would do anything to feel that again. Eventually, they stopped and leaned in so that their foreheads were touching. Both were breathless and speechless, completely taken aback by the wonders that the other performed.  


“You need to go.” Kirk whispered.  


“I don’t want to.” Spock responded, as if to plead with time to slow down.  


“I know that you don’t want you, but you need to. Don’t worry, I will see you again, my love.” With that, he kissed her again meaningfully on the lips, walked over to his car, got in, and drove off. Spock was left in the parking lot, looking down at the ground and blushing a deep shade of green.


	20. Lost in Thought

After a magical summer, Kirk and Spock had to part ways once more, for Spock had to go back to the Academy. It was her second year at Starfleet, so her coursework was bound to get harder, but she had found new motivation to do better. She wanted Kirk to be proud of her, but, more than that, she wanted to be with him. For the first few days that she was back at the Academy, there were no classes, so Spock spent a lot of time with herself. She was concerned about her feelings for Kirk since she began to get long-term feelings for him. She had never gotten feelings this strong for someone before, and she was starting to have thoughts about living with Kirk, in an apartment together. In the Vulcan culture, one was always extremely committed to a mate that they felt they could spend the rest of their life with. For the first time in her life, Spock felt herself losing control.

There were no words for what he felt for her. He missed her with his whole soul, and he longed to only be next to her. James Kirk would never describe himself as an emotional man, but for her, he very well could be. There was a fire inside him that burned for her, and it burned as bright as the sun, if not brighter. He would do anything, be anything for her without a moment’s hesitation; and strangely, he did not doubt how he felt, nor did he question it. With any other girl, he never cared this much. With any other girl, he would never go out of his way for her. But, with Spock, he would move heaven and Earth if it made her happy. 

She spent her days off in silence, trying to keep her conversations with him to a minimum. She did not want her feelings for Kirk to get in the way of her logic. She knew that she liked him and that she cared about him a great deal, but she wasn’t sure if this could be a long-term thing. She spent her mornings in the library, reading books and finding her escape in fantasy worlds. She spent her afternoons walking around Academy, finding secret spots to sit and think, mainly out by the large reflecting pond. Something about the water always calmed Spock down, and this was a decision where she needed to be as level-headed as possible. She held someone else’s feelings in the palm of her hand, and that could not be overlooked. 

He knew that she was ignoring him, but he was not sure why. All that he knew was that he had an amazing summer with an amazing woman, and now, she was barely responding to his messages. He was used to ghosting girls, but he had never been ghosted before. She was answering him at times, so maybe she was only busy, he thought, rather he hoped. His second thought was that maybe she was going through something. He decided that the best thing for him to do was to give her space. He knew that she panicked under pressure occasionally, and if she was making a decision this important, he did not want her to mess it up. 

The more she thought about it, the better it made her feel. The time by herself allowed her to explore her mind, and develop a dialogue with herself. She thought about Kirk, and how he made her feel. She thought about the things they did over the summer, and how magical it had been. As her thoughts progressed, her thoughts became more focuses on the future and big picture. Many questions passed in and out of her head, and she thought about the answers to them. 

“What would the future be like with him? What are the major flaws in their relationship? Would they be detrimental in the future? Could she see a stable future with him? Would he obstruct her from her path? Could they succeed, but more importantly, could they succeed together?” 

She thought of all of these and more, and the more she thought, the clearer her solution became. She thought about the future, and quite frankly, it terrified her. However, it was a good side of terrifying. She was not scared because she thought that they could not make it, or because she thought that they would break up. She was scared because she did not want to lose what she had, what she had come to treasure so dearly. She was scared because she had learned to depend on Kirk in some aspects, and to lose him would be devastating. 

It was then when she realized that she would no longer let her fear control her. She knew that she was afraid, but she would not let it ruin the special relationship that she had started to form. Her fear came from a place of love, but it would not rule her anymore. From this point forward, she would enjoy her relationship and would not let it be tainted by anything that was not, for lack of a better word, logical. It was not logical for her to worry about things five, ten years in the future, much less for her to break up with Kirk over these things. 

When she got home that night, the first thing she did was to video call Kirk. After barely talking to him for the past few days, all she really wanted was to see his face, to see him smile. He picked up almost instantly. 

“Hey, how are you? I was almost starting to get worried.” he said. 

“I’m fine. I just had to do some thinking about us.” 

“Oh….so….what did you, uh, come up with?” 

“My final conclusion was that I love you, and I am no longer going to get in my own way. I want to be with you, James Tiberius Kirk. That is the only thing I want right now. I know we have only been dating for a few months...but I feel something special for you. I want to get to the point where I no longer have to say goodbye every time I leave, where I know that I will see you later that night. If you do not feel the same, I understand, but you deserve to know how I feel.” 

Kirk was rendered speechless. She had laid all of her cards out on the table, no more gambling or games. 

“ I do feel the same. I want to be with you more than anything. You make me happier beyond my wildest dreams. Spock, I would do things for you that I never thought that I would do for someone else, in fact, I have done things that I thought I would never do. I have stressed about my outfit because I was afraid that I would not like it. I was afraid that you were ignoring me and that you no longer wanted to talk to me. I have never felt those things over a girl, but I did not hesitate to feel them for you. I want to be able to sleep next to you every night, to call you mine now and forever.” 

They looked at each other, in silence, but mutual happiness. They smiled and looked at each other, both wondering how they got so lucky to find someone so special. They talked for a little bit longer but eventually hung up. Proper “I love you”s were exchanged, and goodnights were said. Spock laid in bed and went straight to sleep, never more sure of anything in her life. Kirk laid in bed awake, thinking about how a girl who never seemed to feel anything could actually feel so much and all of her feelings somehow revolved around him.


End file.
